The Way

Why? Why and I walking the Camino? 
I have prepared and planned and now it is here. My bag is packed and I am on my way. Santiago is behind me but soon will become my destination. As the kilometer tick away my heart and mind race competing for control. My mind racing from concerning thoughts to encouraging words. My heart beats rising and falling in melody of worry, excitement, confidence and anticipation. 

In my two days since arriving in Santiago, I've settled into the apartment a bit. I've got a room to myself with a futon that was all set up thanks to my new Wheaton friends. They have, and continue to l, make this whole "independent" (read: alone) thing a whole lot less lonely. On the brink of becoming accustomed to a new normal I had to leave. I am prepared for this adventure, I think, but ready or not I am going. 

A flaw in my planning was failing to purchase a guide book. I understand no all pilgrims use one but having it previously would have at least made my mom a little more at ease (who wants to bet she goes and looks at one after reading this?). But I have heard a saying "The Camino provides" and already my new roommates have jumped in offering one of theirs, written by John Brierley . Now, I believe, I am prepared physically anyways. But am I spiritually? 

Last night during our dinner of homemade burgers and fries (proudly named Freedom Feast) I was asked the weighted question why are you walking the Camino? My response was a deer in the headlights look on my face. I had thought some about it but I realized I had no good answer. With a chuckle I was assured it would not be the last time I was asked such a question and was told, with great wisdom, to think and pray on it. 

So here I am, less than 24 hours later still thinking, praying and searching for an answer for me. The answers I have arrived at have left me just shy of feeling guilty. Here I am in a foreign country sent by friends, family, and my faith to work and serve others yet my reasoning for deciding this location, to walk the Camino, could be found under the definition of selfish. 

I came to Spain for a new experience, a new challenge, and for new stories. I am walking the Camino to simply get myself from point A to point B day after day. I am walking for a break from working with youth. I am walking to distance myself from the normal of my world, to find my way. I am walking to find rest. The irony is not lost on me to say I'm going on a 155 km backpacking adventure to find rest. It may sound a little backwards, but so did Jesus when He said the first shall be last and the least the greatest. I am walking to find rest, to take a break, in hopes of becoming a little bit more like Jesus. The Way for me is Jesus. I am simply must begin.